Ok, so for myself being in a fairly new relationship, I am trying to make it work for the long haul. With doing that I have to realize that there are at least a few things that have contributed to why my past relationships failed. As much as I want to blame the idiot who I wasted my time on, there was still something I could have done differently. After doing some much needed work on myself, I found that sometimes I can be a bit too "independent". Yes, it sounds retarded and you may ask "how can you be too independent" but it's possible.
The fact is I have been functioning by myself for a good while as far as providing and maintaining, and I have always been known of or sought after as the one to solve the problems or fix the situation. So from that, I don't know how to let the man take control. Even digging deeper down, I'm use to the woman taking care of the house, making sure the bills were paid, things of that nature. It was my mom doing everything by herself for a long time, even with a man in the house, and if the woman, my mom, wasn't doing it the world fell apart, at least the world I lived in. So by thinking and acting in that mindset, I didn't realize I was hurting the pride of my significant other, even though he never told me. Of course I didn't mean to belittle him, or make him feel less of the man that he was, but it was just who I was and who I am to this day.
What I have learned and am still learning is that sometimes we just have to let men do what men do, which can mean to provide for us when they offer, protect us, care for us, and guard us as the men they are. That means we sometimes have to fall back, as hard as that may be, and be the backbone and play our role. For myself I have to put myself in check everyday because I know I want to do everything and I have the ability to do everything with no problem, but I have to learn that it's not just me anymore, or me and my daughter, but that there's a man here who is willing and able to help me as the man should.
Definitely not saying you can go and get yours as you should but if he wants to cut your grass or fix something in the house let him do it. If he offers to pay a bill because he wants you to have spending money for that new purse he saw you eyeing let him, and when he sees something he wants as well, make a nice day out of it and present him with a gift, just because he's your man. When he gets home from work, there's nothing wrong with catering to him like the king he is in your eyes. I just feel that if females want these 50/50 relationships, shouldn't we as females put in the work to keep our men feeling like the men they are just like we would want them to break their backs to show us we are the women of their hearts?
Tell me what you think?
