Rants & Raves: 10 Signs You're a Sh***y Adulter

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I introduced a new segment a few weeks ago, "Chronicles of a Shitty Adulter".  As much as you might laugh at that title, it's a true testament of my life.  I suck at adulting.  From simple tasks to motherhood, as a millennial I wholeheartedly feel we got the shit stick of how to be an adult.  So as a cute little introduction, here are 10 signs that you're a shitty adulter just like me:

When the roaches have permanently moved and and started paying rent because of how dirty your place is

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When you find yourself not being able to "traditionally" parent

You plot to call in a bomb threat so you don't have to go to work, no matter if you'll miss pay or not

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A wallet?  WTF is a wallet?  You take the chance of leaving your cash and cards in the car, on the floor, in your purse...who cares right!
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You have your daughter or the dog answer the calls from bill collectors instead of having the balls to tell them to fuck off....this is actually funny

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You don't make doctor's appointments, ever.  That was mom's job.  Fuck that shit Jesus is my fence between myself and that sickness!

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You still use words like "night night" and gosh gee willikers, I mean would yall rather me cuss?

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Taxes? WTF are those and how the hell do you get them done?

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You make a conscious effort to save, plan out for the next year, you know big people things...and then Boohoo has an effing sale....

When you honestly rather just watch cartoons all fucking day instead of adult.  You get whiny, tired, and revert back into being a baby

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Adulting...I don't fucking understand.  I don't.  And at the end of the day I am brave enough to admit I suck balls at it.

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So if you feel for this post, and can relate, be sure to tune in January 1st for this new segment.  Until then, try your best to adult, don't whine and scream, or burn shit down in the process.